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Reset!

I'm undergoing a welcome reset, unlearning all those things engrained in me working for someone else all those years.


Learning my role In hindsight, it honestly goes all the way back to my start in the classroom. Stakeholders asking me for things and learning to factor in what my school and district leadership supported and frowned upon. Then working for HUD and working with staff in their field offices all over the country, asking for additional supports. Then in district leadership, working within policy and budget restraints to make things work for as many people as possible. And finally in nonprofit work, where I was approached every day with awesome ideas from members and I learned to mitigate the costs and benefits and expectations coming down from the C suite. Everyone internally and externally told me I was great at what I did, but it didn't feel that way.


Working within boundaries

Depending on the entity and its leadership, I operated under everything from tight micromanagement to free reign. And there were the external variables, like recessions and pandemics and elections that shaded the work. Every time new leadership came in, I had to reassess what their priorities were and what that meant for my priorities. Being a public face of the organization in every role I ever had was doubly difficult. I needed to be on the same page with internal staff and accountable to external stakeholders. Managing both sets of interests into one coherent way forward shouldn't have been so full of conflicts, but in hindsight it was the biggest factor limiting my effectiveness in serving everyone involved.


Documenting conformity

Like you, every year of my career was defined by my work goals. I crafted them with my supervisor, made sure they rolled up to leadership goals, aligned them with the organization’s strategic plan, and submitted them to human resources to revisit quarterly and annually. Sound familiar? And even though I was often going through the motions, documenting my work and getting the routine thumbs up for meeting agreed-upon goals, it really made no difference in my success…aside from keeping me out of trouble. I knew if I didn’t align with the higher-ups, or I didn’t follow through within the boundaries I agreed to, I would be called out for it. I restlessly existed within someone else's stalls of conformity.


Grinding against the tension

The internal realities of budgets and powerplays and relationships never see the light of day, but they are the realities in which we operate. Working within these confines made me an effective staff member and an ineffective champion for the wants and needs of those I served out in the community. Yes, my external people could sense these things, but we couldn’t have honest discussions about it, and they learned how to work the system and work around the obstacles as best they could. As someone who was wired to get things done, I hated feeling paralyzed when there were obvious wins within reach that were not supported by leadership. And the longer my career went on, the more tiresome this was. Some teammates gave in and resigned themselves to simply putting in their time, but others who continued to carry the torch were my people. Like them, I needed to know I was making a difference.


Softening the blow for stakeholders

So when highly engaged stakeholders would come to me, knowing that I was a champion for them, I would listen, and provide measured responses based on what I knew leadership would support. Of course I encouraged and supported these dreamers and doers in every way I could, knocking heads internally trying to make things happen while also ensuring I didn’t damage delicate staff alliances. Still, there were times frustrated external stakeholders knocked heads with me, thinking that I was the impediment to their progress. None of it was optimal or authentic or fun. I did the best I could and made inroads along the way, but I lost sight of how much mitigating all these competing factors ground me down.


Playing defense

In all these ways, I was playing defense. I wasn’t taking the lead and trailblazing. I was towing the company line, maintaining relationships and trying not to burn bridges behind me. Queue the theme from Mission Impossible! We know Tom Cruise. We love Tom Cruise. I'm nobody's Tom Cruise. But I managed. People knew me and trusted that I wouldn’t steer them wrong, even if I couldn’t deliver on everything they (and I) wanted. My personal reputation was critical in getting things done, even if the bulk of the work was managing expectations and doing damage control. I had to be able to look in the mirror and like what I saw, and every night I was able to sleep with a clear conscience was a win. But it was exhausting.


So now, in retirement, I’ve been decompressing and realizing just how much of a toll all those years took. Not that I lost my energy or idealism, but I got conditioned to function within the realities of the organizations for which I worked.

 

Do you feel me?

 

I knew you would.

 

But I'm hitting that reset button. Instead of continuing those learned behaviors, I'm genuinely asking, "What can I do to help you make a difference today" without constraints or conditions or concerns for any third party influence. Sounds good? It’s certainly authentic. But I’m realizing as I continue to build The Worthy Educator that old habits die hard and I need to mindfully unlearn those decades-old coping strategies. I’m not on defense, I’m not answerable to bosses or business interests, and I can now approach any conversation openly without reservation. Sure, working on my own I’m not rolling in cash, but I’m not chasing money, either. I'm retired. I don't need another job. This is not a business I'm building. It's a community!

 

And so I ask you: what do you need to unlearn to free yourself up for the future you desire and deserve? That’s the work to which I’m committed. How can I help you get out from under all the demands of your day job and help you envision the future you want? How can I be your champion for getting from here to there, whatever that looks like for you? You’ll unlearn and relearn new ways to look at things and new approaches to practice that invest in you.

 

How can I help you make that difference today?

 

Tomorrow?

 

And in the future?

 

On the last day of your career, when you close your office door that one final time, what do you want your legacy to be?

 

Let’s talk!



 

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