This tribute to the special professional relationship between Kwame Sarfo-Mensah and Nichole Willoughby Polk is cross-posted from The Worthy Educator's #edufriends site, with deep appreciation to Kwame for sharing this experience with educators everywhere. You can view our entire collection of healthy, thriving educator relationships here!
In 2011, I was assigned to teach sixth-grade math and science, a position I would end up holding throughout the duration of my tenure at Khepera. My grade partner was a woman who would eventually become a major influence in my young career. Her name was Nichole Willoughby (now Polk), but she was affectionately referred to as Sister Nikki by the staff and students. Nikki was a veteran teacher who had been teaching in the school system for about 15 years so she had a wealth of experience. Born and raised in Philly, Nikki knew how to connect with the students and could relate to the personal struggles that they were going through.
Even though I had been living in Philly for the greater part of a decade at that point, I still felt like an outsider at times and believed that there was so much I needed to learn about what it was like to be a child growing up in a city as rough as Philly. Thankfully, Nikki was able to provide that perspective and reach the students in ways that I knew I couldn't. From day one, we had a special connection. I embraced her as my big sister and she, in turn, embraced me as her little brother. I knew immediately that she would be there for me through thick and thin.
Stylistically, Nikki and I were very different teachers but we shared the same core principles as it related to making students take full ownership of their learning. Nikki just had an intimidating presence that scared many of the students. She rarely smiled or joked around with them. Even though some of the students found her annoying, they all respected her because they knew, deep down inside, she cared about them and would push them to be great. She ran a tight ship, had very high expectations for her students and made sure that all of them held themselves accountable for their actions. Simply put, it was strictly business every time you entered Sister Nikki's classroom.
My teaching style was definitely more on the conservative side. Naturally, I have a mild-mannered-and-reserved personality. I never hesitated to take a little bit of time out of class to crack a joke or do something silly just to make my students laugh. I just loved to smile so I couldn’t imagine myself going an entire school day without showing my teeth at least one time. My goal was always to create a fun classroom atmosphere so that my students could stay actively engaged in the learning process. In doing that, I made it clear to students that there was an imaginary line that they could not cross.
Like Nikki, I developed a classroom culture where failure was not an option and students had to embrace the challenge of taking full responsibility for their education. In essence, Nikki and I had a "good cop-bad cop" dynamic with the students. There were days where the students needed a kick in the behind from Nikki, but there were also days where the kids needed a pat on the back from myself. When necessary, there were times where the roles were reversed. The two of us collectively gave the students the best of both worlds. As different as we were, we always maintained a united front in the presence of the students. The students could not do anything to pit the two of us against each other. Our bond was inseparable and the students saw that.
Outside of the classroom, Nikki was really down-to-earth and very sweet. What I appreciated most about Nikki was that she always advocated for me. She never overstepped her boundaries. She gave me the space to be a person of authority within my own classroom. She had the utmost confidence in my ability to manage the students and provide quality instruction to them. Considering how tumultuously things ended at my previous school, and the obstacles I had to endure over the previous summer, it was important that I had her support and vote of confidence.
Nikki's influence on me went beyond the classroom. Whenever I was going through personal issues, she was my sounding board and I would end up being the same for her. She was a single mother raising two teenage daughters and going to school to obtain her principal certification at the same time. Being a parent of two young boys now, I know how hard it is to balance my professional responsibilities with my parental obligations. I can only imagine how difficult it was for Nikki to get out of her bed and still have the drive to come to work everyday. Her ability to seamlessly balance her roles as teacher and parent was just incredible to watch! It made me admire her even more.
Throughout the year, the two of us would spend our breaks together and go to a nearby diner just a few blocks up the street from the school to get breakfast. During those breaks, we would just chat it up and vent to each other about our issues. She would talk about her daughters, her aspirations of becoming a principal, and any other personal issues that were bothering her. In turn, I would share with her some of the most intimate details of my personal life.
The more time that we spent together, the more I began to realize that I needed to establish a healthy balance between my work and my personal life. Through our many breakfast conversations, Nikki made it clear to me that there was more to life than just teaching. As dedicated as I was to my students, I couldn't lose sight of the fact that self-care is the best care. If I didn't make my personal well-being a priority, how could I possibly be the best teacher to my students? As I would find out later in my teaching career, the ability to achieve the appropriate balance between work and your personal life is what separates the seasoned veteran teachers from the young overzealous teachers.
I was the latter in that situation. I had a chip on my shoulder from how things ended at my previous school and I was on a mission to prove to everyone that I was a legitimate teacher. I did this at the expense of my own health. It reached a point where practically all of my time and energy was devoted to the job. My first year at Khepera had its share of ups and downs but, in the midst of it all, Nikki was always by my side. Sadly, that would be the only year we worked together as Nikki transitioned to teach second grade the following school year.
I’m forever thankful for our time together and all the lessons I received from her. Although life has taken us down separate paths, I’ve still kept up with her journey. To see her finally achieve her dream of becoming a principal is the best part for me because it takes me back to those days when she was in the thick of the grind and dreaming about that reality. I saw the greatness then and I’m glad that an entire school now gets to thrive under her leadership now.
The Worthy Educator added a new #edufriends tribute every day the month of February, and will continue to celebrate new stories as educators submit them. Add your tribute to that very special colleague in your life here!
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