Interrupting Contagious Narratives

4 min read

Today’s edition feels more like a confession...

For the longest time, I would find myself in conversations that turned to complaints about the boss, the change "everyone (apparently) hates", that one frustrating person on the team. And I would either say nothing or, worse, nod my head and agree. 😬

I’d walk away with a nagging pit in my stomach every single time. My integrity felt fractured, and I couldn’t figure out why I kept participating.

This has led to one of my favorite chapters in my upcoming book, Clear is the NEW Confident. When I showed the women I interviewed the table of contents, almost every one of them said, “Oh my gosh, I would open up to THAT chapter!” That chapter being: Interrupt Contagious Narratives.

How Contagious is a Narrative?

While researching, I came across a model from a medical facility showing how contagious different illnesses are. For every one person with influenza, about one and a half people catch it. For measles, it’s 15 or more. I replicated that model for narratives. For every one positive narrative, about one and a half people catch on. For every one negative narrative, it’s more like five or six. 🦠🦠🦠

Contagious negative narratives tend to show up in two forms:

Projections: borrowed beliefs other people pass on to us.
Echoes: gossip, grievances, and complaints that spread through a group until they shape how everyone sees the work.

Projections: Borrowed Beliefs

While guest teaching a freshman class, I overheard a student say, “I have never been good at math. Our family, we’re not math people.” She hadn’t even enrolled in the class yet, and she already believed it would be hard.

It happens at work too. You share that you’re applying for a new role, and a colleague asks, “Are you sure you’re ready to give up what you know?” Often they’re picturing themselves in that position and projecting their own fears.

How to Interrupt Projections

Maintain gratitude. Chances are they care for you and want to protect you.
Avoid the urge to justify. This projection usually has nothing to do with you.
Guard your beliefs. Decide which ideas to consider, which to reject, and hold on to what you know to be true about who you are.

A few response stems to try:

“I appreciate that you care enough about me to share that.”
“I’m grateful you shared what you’re thinking. Can I share how I see it a little differently?”
“Interesting. What has been your experience with this?”

Echoes: Gossip, Grievances, and Complaints

Echoes are the narratives we know best. Picture a toxic leader finally leaving her position, and the speculation that spreads behind closed doors like wildfire. So why do we participate? I see three reasons:

Fear: we want to avoid being excluded or coming across wrong.
Laziness: our brains conserve energy, and going along is easier.
Blindness: ego protection shows up as bandwagon effect, groupthink, and confirmation bias.

How to interrupt echoes:

Reduce the threat. Give people your full attention and let them know you hear them: “It sounds like this has been really frustrating.” You can show empathy without diving headfirst into the echo.
Choose curiosity over correction. As 📚Michael Bungay Stanier says, stay curious a little longer. Try “What outcome are you hoping for here?” or “Are there things we might be missing?” Pick two or three questions and practice them consistently.
Pick the right moment and the right words. That moment is rarely, if ever, mid-vent when someone is emotionally activated.

Yes, you can still vent

We all need to vent. Reflect first, then tell the person (that you've chosen carefully) what you need from them: “I want you to listen and acknowledge.” “I need advice.” “I need you to push back on my thinking.” Without that, they may take on your echoes and carry them to the next person.

The Cost of Rising Above

People may question why you aren’t engaging. You might even earn a nickname like Pollyanna. That says more about their own discomfort than anything about you.

Amanda Koonlaba, Ed.S., one of the women I interviewed for the book, put it best: “I don’t want to be in spaces where we’re talking about other women.” Set that boundary, and people will see you as someone they can trust.

Which contagious narrative are you ready to interrupt this week, a projection or an echo? Tell me in the comments.

🎧 Listen to the full episode: Apple Podcasts | Spotify

Planning an event? Book Casey to speak.

Sometimes we’ve caught a narrative and don’t even realize it isn’t ours. That’s where a coach can help. As a brain coach, I’d love to partner with you if you’re ready to guard your beliefs and protect your integrity. My three-month coaching cohort starts in January. Send me a DM with the word “coach” to join the interest list.

Grab the free tool and get book updates at clearisthenewconfident.com.

Clarity precedes capacity®, always.

Casey Watts is the founder of Casey Watts Coaching & Consulting, the host of The Catching Up with Casey Podcast, and a member of the Worthy Educator Speakers Bureau. Her goal is to help educators become "The clearest leaders in the room," knowing exactly where they're going, how they're going to get there, and why it matters. This post was originally posted October 31, 2026 and is shared here with permission. Thank you, Casey! You can contact her here.