Jacob’s Journey: A Story of Inclusion

Mary Manger Reece is the Director of Special Projects at the Foundation

for Educational Administration in New Jersey. A former principal, she is a

member of the New Jersey Arts Think Tank, the founding Board Chairperson of Arts Ed New Jersey, a founder of Gathering Ground, and a former member of the National Association of Elementary School Principals Board of Directors. You can reach Mary directly via email here.

In 1990, as an elementary school principal, I was approached by a family who lived outside our school’s boundaries. They had heard that our school welcomed all students, including those with significant disabilities, and wanted their son, Jacob, to attend first grade with his peers.

Jacob had Fragile X syndrome, a genetic condition causing intellectual, behavioral, and developmental challenges. He had attended a full-day out-of-district kindergarten, since our district offered only half-day programs. His parents petitioned the superintendent for an exception, and we began a yearlong planning process to ensure a smooth transition.

Our team - comprising the classroom teacher, paraprofessional, child study team, nurse, specialists, and parents - met regularly to design the right supports. We even created a “circle of friends,” classmates who would accompany Jacob through elementary and later middle school.

Jacob’s mother was an exceptional advocate. She began a graduate program in assistive technology and shared new strategies and tools to aid his communication. Her collaboration strengthened our entire team.

Although we had welcomed students with disabilities before, Jacob’s arrival drew statewide attention. Days before school began, the state commissioner asked to send a TV crew to film his first day. Knowing how anxious Jacob could become, I declined - our focus was on calm and connection, not cameras.

Over the next five years, Jacob flourished. With consistent teamwork and family collaboration, he experienced academic and social success. His promotion to middle school was bittersweet; we were proud but sad to see him go. His family kept in touch, and I was honored to attend his high school graduation party - where he ran up, called me “boss,” and tackled me in greeting!

Years later, Jacob’s family moved to another state, where his mother co-founded a nonprofit to create inclusive housing for adults with disabilities. The initiative is now nearing success, offering real hope for community living.

Whenever Jacob and his parents returned to visit family, we met for breakfast or lunch. I loved hearing about his new experiences - working part-time at Habitat for Humanity and the Dollar Store, flying for the first time, and traveling on road trips.

Recently, Jacob and his parents returned permanently to our state. Soon, I’ll meet with them and his new support team to form another “circle of friends” as he moves into his own apartment at age forty, with full-time assistance.

Educators are privileged to form lifelong bonds like these. My experience with Jacob continues to shape my advocacy for inclusive education. Decades later, it pains me that our state still lags in integrating students with disabilities into general classrooms. Inclusion is not just the right thing - it enriches every student, fosters empathy, and builds a stronger, more equitable society.

I’m honored to remain part of Jacob’s journey. The best is yet to come.

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