Authenticity is Expensive

7 hours ago
3 min read

Will you pay the price?

How many times have you heard, “We want our people to bring their full selves to work”? Or the phrase, “Lead authentically”?

We say we want people to speak up, stand in their truth, and be exactly who they are. But I’ve been wondering:

What happens when authenticity comes with a cost?

For a short season early in my career, I played the game. I tried to fit expectations, earn acceptance, and prove I belonged. I became really good at managing perceptions. What I didn’t realize was how exhausting it is to spend your energy becoming someone everyone else is comfortable with instead of becoming who you were created to be.

So, I stopped. I chose. I would never trade respectability for truth again. That choice wasn’t free.

Authenticity can be intimidating to people who’ve learned to survive by shrinking.

That’s when my learner’s mindset kicked in. My training in qualitative methods taught me that if you want to understand people’s experiences, you ask. You listen. So I did.

One former team member told me that when I brought my full self into the room, it made her feel more comfortable doing the same. She said our norms of asking questions, seeking support, and learning together created space for her to grow. She didn’t just feel encouraged. It became how we worked.

Another shared something small that said something big. She worried about wearing hoop earrings to work. Then she saw me wear mine, and she wore hers. She said, “When you opened up, I wanted to open up.” That wasn’t about earrings.

That’s leadership.

Leadership is always communicating permission. People watch what leaders normalize: how we respond to mistakes, what we celebrate, what we hide, and what we reveal.

People don’t just need leaders who see them.

They need leaders who help them see themselves.

That’s why I believe authenticity isn’t just self-expression.

It’s an act of leadership.

It’s about creating conditions where other people can discover who they can become.

Have there been things I may have missed because I chose authenticity? Maybe. But my faith reminds me that what’s meant for me won’t require me to abandon who I am to receive it.

So, I choose freedom (thank you Dori Tunstall for the reminder). I choose relationships built on truth, not performance. I choose learning over pretending.

I choose authenticity because I’ve seen what it gives other people: permission, confidence, belonging, and courage. And sometimes, that’s worth every bit of the price.

It is stewardship personified.

Because someone is waiting on who you’re becoming, and they may discover who they can become because you had the courage to show up as yourself.

It’s all a part of becoming.

Patrice Dawkins-Jackson founded Finish What You Started to help lead change without leaving anyone behind. She understands transitions are deeply human and need to be navigated with empathy, clarity, and structure. Her Change With(in)™ Framework uses psychological and emotional safety and resistance to frame success. She promises you’ll never be alone in this work. Originally posted August 16, 2026, this piece is crossposted here with her permission. You can email Patrice here.