Stop Saving Them!

Feb 19
3 min read

By mid-February, the building feels different.

You can sense it in the hallways.

The laughter is thinner. The patience is shorter. The staff room conversations are heavier. People are doing their jobs, but the spark is dimmer.

And because you are who you are, you feel it all.

The teacher on the edge of tears. The counselor buried in crisis. The support staff member who hasn’t had a real break in weeks. The veteran who quietly says, This year just feels harder.

You don’t ignore that. You absorb it.

And then you do what strong, capable, deeply committed women in leadership do:

You start saving.

You fix the schedule. You mediate the conflict. You step into the parent conversation. You rewrite the plan. You soften the email. You carry the emotional load.

Because you care.

But here’s what no one warns you about:

The more you save, the less they strengthen.

And the more you carry, the heavier February becomes.

What Your Staff Is Actually Going Through

Right now, your team is not just tired.

They are questioning themselves.

Am I doing enough? Why does this feel harder than it should? How do I keep this up through spring?

The second semester exposes gaps, in systems, in stamina, in skill, in boundaries.

It is uncomfortable.

Growth usually is.

And discomfort is not a sign that you have failed them.

It is often a sign that they are stretching.

But when you rush in to remove the discomfort, you remove the stretch.

Supporting vs. Solving

Supporting says:

Walk me through what’s happening.
What have you already tried?
What outcome are you aiming for?
What feels like your next best step?

Solving says:

I’ll handle it.
Send them to me.
I’ll fix this.
Don’t worry about it.

Supporting builds professionals.

Solving builds dependence.

And dependence will quietly turn you into the emotional and operational center of everything.

That is not leadership.

That is unsustainable heroism.

Why This Is So Hard for You

Because you are good at what you do.

You can see the solution faster than they can. You can anticipate the ripple effects. You know how to stabilize chaos.

It is easier to fix it yourself.

But easier is not always better.

When you consistently intervene:

They don’t build problem-solving muscles.
They don’t build confidence.
They don’t build resilience.

And you don’t build capacity in your organization.

You build exhaustion in yourself.

What They Actually Need From You

In February, your staff needs:

Clarity. Remind them what matters most right now and what can wait. Everything is not urgent.
Emotional steadiness. If you regulate yourself, you regulate the building. Your calm is contagious.
Ownership. Let them wrestle with solutions while you coach from the side.
Trust. Not blind trust. Real trust that says, You are capable of handling this.

A Simple Shift to Practice This Week

When someone brings you a problem, pause.

Instead of answering immediately, ask: Do you want me to solve this with you, or do you want to think it through out loud first? Or: What do you think your next best move is?

And then sit in the silence.

That silence is where growth happens.

It may feel uncomfortable.

Let it.

You are not abandoning them.

You are developing them.

The Hard Truth

If you keep saving them, they will survive the year.

If you coach them through the stretch, they will become stronger because of the year.

And you will stop carrying a weight that was never meant to be yours alone.

You do not have to be the hero of every crisis to be a good leader.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is step back just enough for someone else to step forward.

If this hit close to home, don’t overhaul everything.

Just choose one moment this week to support without saving.

That’s leadership without permission.

Think Clearly. Act Boldly. Lead Differently!

Lisa S. Younce, Ed.D. is an educator, executive coach and the founder of The Person Centered Solution., where you can learn more about her services and see testimonials from leadership professionals with whom she works. Lisa provides coaching to women in leadership, helping them amplify what drives them and aligning their strengths with strategies for success. This piece was originally published February 15, 2026 and is cross-posted here with her permission. You can contact Lisa here.