60 Seconds to Save You from Your Worst Self

It was 3 PM on a Tuesday. I'd been in back-to-back meetings since 8 AM. My inbox was exploding. A vendor had just sent what I interpreted as a passive-aggressive message about a delayed payment.

I typed a response. Professional. Firm. Definitively ending the relationship.

My finger hovered over "send." And then, almost by accident, I did something I'd recently started practicing: I paused for 60 seconds and asked myself four questions.

What I discovered in that minute changed everything. I wasn't actually angry at the vendor. I was exhausted, stressed about quarterly numbers, and taking it out on someone who was just trying to do their job. I deleted the email. Took a breath. Wrote a completely different response.

They called me the next day to thank me for my understanding. The partnership is stronger than ever.

💡 Leadership Insight

Research shows that simply naming your emotions, a practice called "affect labeling", reduces amygdala activation by up to 30%. Your prefrontal cortex literally calms your emotional reactivity just by identifying what you're feeling.

But here's what most leaders miss: emotional intelligence isn't built in annual workshops or through reading books. It's built in micro-moments throughout your day when you choose awareness over reactivity.

The problem? We're moving so fast that we skip right past our emotions and go straight to action. We react from stress without even knowing we're stressed. We make decisions from fear without acknowledging we're afraid. We lead from exhaustion without recognizing we're depleted.

The solution isn't to slow down everything. It's to build strategic pause points, 60-second check-ins that create just enough space between stimulus and response to lead with intention instead of reactivity.

🧠 Behavioral Deep Dive

I started implementing what I call "The 60-Second EI Check-In" five times per day. Not because I'm more emotionally evolved than you, but because I learned the hard way that I can't lead others well if I don't know what's happening inside me.

These aren't meditation breaks or deep introspection sessions. They're literal 60-second check-ins with myself. A quick scan. A moment of honest assessment. A chance to notice what I'm feeling before it hijacks my next interaction.

What surprised me most? How often I was leading from emotions I didn't even know I was experiencing. Irritation masquerading as high standards. Anxiety dressed up as urgency. Fear hiding behind "being strategic."

The check-ins don't eliminate these emotions, they just give me the chance to manage them intentionally rather than spray them unconsciously on my team.

🔍 Personal Connection

The first week I tried this, I almost quit. It felt ridiculous. I'm a busy leader, I don't have time to navel-gaze five times a day.

But then something shifted. I noticed I was making better decisions. Having better conversations. Responding instead of reacting. My team started commenting that I seemed more "present" and "grounded."

The practice isn't about being perfectly emotionally regulated. It's about catching yourself before you do or say something you can't take back. It's about creating the smallest possible gap between what you feel and how you respond, and in that gap lives your leadership effectiveness.

I've now been doing this for three years. I can count at least a dozen major mistakes I didn't make, relationships I didn't damage, and decisions I didn't regret, all because I took 60 seconds to check in with myself first.

🛠️ Habits That Stick

THE 60-SECOND EI CHECK-IN (Do This 5x Daily)

When to do it:

1. First thing in the morning (before checking email)

2. Before any important meeting or conversation

3. After receiving triggering news or feedback

4. Mid-afternoon when energy typically dips

5. At the end of your workday before transitioning home

The Four Questions (15 seconds each)

1. "What am I feeling right now?" Name it specifically. Not "bad" or "stressed." Angry? Anxious? Overwhelmed? Excited? Insecure? The more precise, the better. Write it down or just name it mentally.

2. "Why am I feeling this?" What triggered it? Was it the email I just got? The meeting I'm walking into? The deadline I'm worried about? Lack of sleep? Hunger? Identify the actual source.

3. "Is this feeling about the present moment or something else?" Am I anxious about this conversation, or am I anxious about quarterly results? Am I frustrated with this person, or am I exhausted from yesterday? This question prevents emotional displacement.

4. "What do I need right now to show up well?" Do I need to take three deep breaths? Get a glass of water? Acknowledge my stress to the other person? Reschedule this meeting? Be honest about what would help.

Critical Rules

• Don't judge what you discover. You're not a bad leader for feeling anxious or frustrated. You're human. The practice is noticing, not fixing.

• Be specific with emotions. "I feel frustrated because I'm worried this project will miss its deadline" is infinitely more useful than "I feel bad."

• Act on what you discover. If you realize you're exhausted, take a 5-minute walk before your next meeting. If you're anxious, acknowledge it: "I'm feeling some pressure about this, so I want to make sure I'm thinking clearly."

• Track patterns over time. After a week, review your check-ins. You'll notice patterns: "I'm always irritable at 3 PM" (probably blood sugar). "I get anxious before talking to this person" (unresolved conflict). Patterns reveal opportunities for systemic change.

💬 Reflection Question

If you did a 60-second check-in right now, before your next meeting or email, what would you discover? And what might that awareness prevent?

🥖 One Last Bite

Emotional intelligence doesn't require a personality transplant or years of therapy. It requires small, consistent practices that create space between what you feel and how you respond.

Sixty seconds. Four questions. Five times a day.

It won't make you perfect. But it will make you aware. And awareness is where leadership effectiveness begins.

The best leaders aren't the ones who never feel difficult emotions. They're the ones who notice what they're feeling and choose their response anyway.

That choice happens in the gap. The 60-second gap.

Real Leaders. Real Growth. One Table.🥖

A publication by Robert Adams - A Student of Leadership.

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Robert Adams is a food industry leader who has repeatedly seen motivated teams outperform bigger competitors when their leaders focus on their people. Real leadership changes everything, and he focuses on developing leaders who lead with confidence. This piece was originally posted January 7, 2026 and is crossposted with permission. You can contact Robert via email here.

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