A Way of Seeing the World

by Mary Manger Reece

November is Gratitude Month at The Worthy Educator!

Gratitude is more than a pleasant feeling or polite response. It is a way of seeing the world — an intentional practice of noticing, honoring, and giving thanks for the people, moments, and opportunities that shape our lives. Even amid challenge or change, gratitude reminds us that goodness persists. It anchors us to what truly matters and invites us to lead, love, and serve with open hearts.

As an Educational Leader

In schools and districts, where every day brings both triumphs and trials, gratitude becomes a stabilizing force. To lead with gratitude is to recognize that we do not do this work alone. Each morning, the hallways fill with teachers who give more than is asked, students who surprise us with their creativity and courage, and families who entrust us with their most precious hopes.

Gratitude allows us to look beyond test scores and reports to see the living purpose of education — to nurture potential and promise. When we take time to thank a teacher for innovation, a custodian for care, or a student for effort, we create a culture where appreciation fuels motivation. Gratitude reminds us that leadership is not about authority but about service, relationships, and shared vision.

In moments of stress, when decisions are heavy and the to-do list feels endless, gratitude provides clarity. It shifts the question from “What’s going wrong?” to “What’s working, and who is helping make it so?” It renews our sense of purpose and reminds us that we lead not to be acknowledged but to make a difference — and that difference begins with thankfulness.

As a school leader for many years and now as a project director for professional learning, I’ve allowed these sentiments to guide my everyday actions and reflections.

As a Family Member

Gratitude also lives in our homes, where leadership takes a more personal form. Families are where we learn the rhythms of giving and receiving care — the daily exchange of support, forgiveness, and affection that sustains us through life’s seasons.

Being grateful within a family means noticing the quiet gifts: the morning coffee made without asking, the reassuring word after a long day, the laughter shared around a meal. These moments might seem small, but they knit us together in powerful ways. Gratitude keeps us from taking one another for granted; it transforms ordinary routines into sacred connections.

For those balancing the demands of educational leadership with family responsibilities, gratitude becomes an act of balance. It reminds us to pause — to step away from emails and meetings to be present with those we love. Gratitude whispers, “This moment matters too.” It helps us see that success in leadership is hollow without the relationships that give it meaning.

As part of the “sandwich generation,” I had the privilege of caring for my Aunt Dot — my godmother — and later my parents, who lived into their 90s. During that same period, I supported my husband, a state and district leader, and our two children. Gratitude nurtured me through this sometimes chaotic chapter and helped me find balance amid competing responsibilities.

As a Friend

Friendship is one of life’s most enduring forms of gratitude. True friends remind us who we are at our core. They celebrate our victories, challenge us toward growth, and stand steady when the road turns rough.

Our gratitude as friends shows in how we listen — fully, without distraction — and in how we reach out simply to say, “I’m thinking of you.” For educational leaders, friendships often become lifelines. In a role where confidentiality and composure are constant, trusted friends provide space to speak freely, laugh deeply, and refuel emotionally. Gratitude helps us hold those friendships close, recognizing that they are not distractions from our work but essential to sustaining it.

To be a grateful friend is to rejoice in others’ success without envy, to extend grace when life’s busyness interferes, and to remember that presence is often the greatest gift.

I am profoundly grateful for the friendships that have sustained me. Losing my best friend of seventy years this past year has been deeply painful. Michele and I spoke weekly and saw each other often. Our friendship, filled with joy, laughter, and shared loss, spanned a lifetime. I am constantly reminded of how blessed I was to have her in my life.

As a result, I hold dear the friendships that surround me now. The Broadway Broads fill my life with laughter, theatre, and shared confidences, while The Formers bring reflection, wonder, and joy. Gratitude for these friendships enriches my days and grounds me in community.

As a Volunteer

Gratitude often finds its most powerful expression in service. To volunteer — to give time, talent, and energy for the benefit of others — is gratitude in motion. It is a way of saying, “I have received much, and I choose to give back.”

Volunteering connects us to our communities and reminds us of our shared humanity. Whether mentoring a student, serving at a food pantry, or helping organize a local event, we discover that gratitude expands when shared. Each act of service reinforces that leadership extends beyond schools and offices — it reaches into the heart of the community.

Through volunteering, we encounter stories that humble us and people who inspire us. Gratitude transforms service from obligation to joy — from something we should do to something we get to do.

Serving as chair of our local Environmental Commission, as a board member of The Watershed Institute, and as a founder of Arts Ed NJ has been deeply fulfilling. Each opportunity allows me to contribute to a cause greater than myself. Gratitude drives that commitment and reminds me that service is both a privilege and a gift.

Gratitude as a Way of Leading and Living

Across all these roles — leader, family member, friend, and volunteer — gratitude serves as both compass and fuel. It centers us in what is good, even when circumstances are difficult. It teaches us to lead with empathy, to listen before speaking, and to celebrate before criticizing.

When gratitude becomes part of our leadership identity, it spreads. Teams become more collaborative. Schools become more joyful. Families and friendships deepen. Service becomes more meaningful. Gratitude multiplies wherever it is practiced.

In the end, gratitude is not something to save for holidays or moments of reflection. It is a daily discipline — a lens that transforms how we see and how we lead. It invites us to notice the extraordinary in the ordinary and to say, in word and action, thank you.

For educational leaders, gratitude reminds us why we began this journey: to make a difference in the lives of others. For family members and friends, it renews connection. For volunteers, it ignites purpose.

And for all of us — gratitude offers peace.

Mary Manger Reece is the Director of Special Projects at the Foundation for Educational Administration in New Jersey. A former principal, she is a member of the New Jersey Arts Think Tank, the founding Board Chairperson of Arts Ed New Jersey, a founder of Gathering Ground, and a former member of the National Association of Elementary School Principals Board of Directors. You can reach Mary directly via email here.

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