As I begin year 22, I am truly excited for what’s to come!

Walter McKenzie
Sep 2
3 min read

Updated: Sep 23

Deanna (DEE-nah) Lough is a Worthy Educator Champion in Education, a clear voice advocating for the profession, for students, and for herself.

She is a Special Education English Language Arts Teacher at George V. Kirk Middle School in Newark, Delaware and a leader in every role she undertakes. As we elevate the importance of self-care in September, we are honored to celebrate Deanna as our Champion of the month!

When I was an undergraduate student working on an English Education degree, we prepared for a variety of things: lesson planning, classroom management, who to bribe with treats, etc. I think everyone, from my cooperating teachers to the professor who supervised the student teaching program, did as much as they could to prepare us for what was to come.

When I finally got a teaching job, I did all the things I thought good teachers did. I was tough and firm. I held to due dates. I made parent phone calls and sent emails. I communicated when the students did something I thought the important adults in their lives needed to know, good or bad.

Every year, I did the same things. Every year, I burnt out. 2015 rolled around, and I wasn’t sure that I wanted to stay in education because I felt like the profession was no longer serving me. How can I be of service to others if the profession isn’t serving me? But I didn’t know how to do anything else. There had to be a way for me to get more out of a profession that I had given so much, even if it felt like I wasn’t getting as much back in return. It really was the worst kind of relationship: you give and give until you’re drained.

Then, I made some important steps.

I started the journey into gradeless teaching, and the community I found there was crucial to my development and learning as a teacher. I came to realize that what was not good for students was also not good for me, and I not only made my classroom more equitable, I also enjoyed my job so much more. I learned to plan and manage curriculum better: batching my tasks, working more productively during the school day, and using all the resources in my building. It left me more time to better balance my work and personal life.

More recently, I had some of the most challenging professional experiences of my career. These experiences left me feeling like I didn’t know who I was professionally. I walked around with a cloud above my head that was visible to no one but me. Teaching is a huge part of my identity. What do I do if I’m not a good teacher? I don’t know how to do anything else. What do I do when the only thing I’ve ever been good at is suddenly something that no longer sustains me?

How do I teach others to truly love who they are if I cannot do the same?

At the start of my work with The Worthy Educator, I explored my values and how those values show up in my life. Having time to reflect gave me some time to also digest one big, important fact: I don’t know the degree to which I ever operated as my most authentic self. I also don’t know that I ever felt like it was okay to be exactly who I am.

In the beginning of my career, I behaved as I thought teachers were supposed to behave. I fooled myself into believing that teachers must behave “this way” and administrators had to behave “that way.” Back then, I don’t know if I understood that operating in a way that wasn’t authentically me would culminate in feeling like I wasn’t worthy.

Not worthy of praise.

Not worthy of grace.

Worst of all, not worthy of the identity that was the very thing I believed myself to be for such a long time: a good educator.

This is how I got to year 21 with no idea where I should go or what I should do.

Embracing who I am (my anxiety, my insecurity, my lack of knowledge in certain areas, my fear of others knowing my ADHD struggles) - and understanding I tried to hide these things because of how I thought I should walk through this world - has helped me figure out a better, more genuine way forward. I have better mental health. I’m much more confident in picking my battles, and I’m happy to report that, as I begin year 22, I am truly excited for what’s to come.

Whatever lies ahead, I know that I can handle it. I’m a worthy educator!