
Popular a century ago, the Beguine originated in Martinique as a negotiation between Latin folk and French ballroom dancing, a back-and-forth between traditions that created a new, expressive form of movement. Come to think of it, dancing in general is a kind of back-and-forth bargaining; a negotiation between people set to music!
Notice I said bargaining and not a bargain. Think about it, that ongoing dialogue in our heads about what we want out of our day…our relationships…our careers…our lives…is internal bargaining, and our collateral is who we are, who we perceive ourselves to be, and how we want others to see us.
Sample dialogue:
“I deserve this.”
“I’m more talented.”
“What do I need to do to win?”
“I don’t do anything if I don’t get paid.”
“I can do that better than they’re doing it.”
This ongoing inner conversation isn’t always noble or pretty, and hopefully we aspire to more than our most base instincts.
The key to managing this internal narrative? Self-worth. If we don’t know our own value, we’re more easily influenced by the value we see in others.

We bargain externally with:
Family members
Coworkers
Colleagues
Businesses
Bosses
Funny how those negotiations always fall short, isn’t it? We have no say in how others are willing to bargain, but safe to say they represent their own interests.
Know the dance. Know our worth. Know what we deserve. It’s all in play every day, and if we’re not tending to it we may unwittingly give it all away.
There are common tells when someone doesn't know their own value:
Double talking
Blaming others
Exaggerating the stakes
Ratcheting up the pressure
Putting conditions on relationships
Making others question their own worth

It's like musical chairs. Everyone tries to keep up until the music stops.
The key to successfully achieving our goals is understanding our actual worth.
Effective leaders are successful because they know themselves well enough to call their own tune:
The melody is their own
They commit to the entire dance
They understand the value in what they do
They move in ways that make their partners shine
They grace the entire dance floor with their presence
We feel safe and supported around them. Everyone has permission to be their authentic selves, and we all join in the dance.
Who are these people in our lives? We need to surround ourselves with more of them, so we can focus on our own value instead of competing for validation from others.
Dance as if no one is watching? Dance as if nothing else matters! When we truly know our own worth, we empower not only ourselves but everyone around us to find their power, too.
Bargain the Beguine? No dance or circumstance can change our value. We call our own tune. Choreograph our own story.
Continue the dance in ways that, when the music finishes, we’re where we want to be.

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