Dr. Andy Szeto: The Problem With Cheap Praise

3 hours ago
3 min read

Recognition

Praise is everywhere. It’s easy. It’s fast. It’s socially safe. In professional spaces, especially education and leadership, praise has become the default currency of interaction. “Great job.” “Love this.” “Awesome.”

But cheap praise has a cost. Over time, it devalues the very thing it claims to offer: recognition.

Lately, I’ve had some success with my writing. More people are reading. More people are responding. I’m grateful for that. And I’ve noticed something that surprised me, even as someone who spends a lot of time thinking about feedback, growth, and leadership.

The praise lands differently depending on who it comes from.

Some praises feel like confetti. Bright, kind, gone in a second. Others land with weight. I can reread them days later and still feel understood. The words might look similar on the surface, but the experience is not the same. Not even close.

Encouragement matters, and kindness matters. But I’m talking about something narrower and more practical: what kind of affirmation actually helps someone grow.

Affirmation, Not Applause

Early in a career, praise can feel like oxygen. You’re learning the rules, watching the room, trying to figure out whether you belong. Any positive signal feels like confirmation you’re on the right path. That makes sense. But something shifts as you gain experience. As the work becomes more complex and the craft deeper, praise has to change too. Otherwise it stops meaning much at all.

At this stage in my career, affirmation sticks most when it comes from someone close enough to the work to see what I was actually trying to do. Not someone with a title. Not someone with a bigger platform. Someone with proximity to the craft.

A quick “love this” from someone scrolling by is fine. I’m not offended by it. It can even be motivating in a light way. But it doesn’t change my thinking. It doesn’t sharpen the work. It doesn’t help me understand what worked, what didn’t, or what to try next.

Then there are the other kinds of responses. The ones from people who write, edit, teach, lead, or study the topics I’m writing about. The ones who name a specific line and tell me why it mattered. The ones who challenge a claim, or ask a question that forces me to clarify the argument. The ones who say, in effect, “I see what you’re trying to do here, and I’m taking it seriously.”

That kind of praise doesn’t feel like applause. It feels like recognition.

Clarity

This is where people sometimes get uncomfortable. We’re taught that all praise is good praise, that intent matters more than expertise. Intent does matter. But in professional spaces built on craft, judgment, and decision-making, not all affirmation carries the same signal. Some of it is surface-level. Some of it is useful. Some of it is simply performative.

The problem is when leaders confuse performance for leadership.

Meaningful affirmation costs something. It costs attention. It costs specificity. It costs the courage to say what you actually noticed. “Here’s what worked and why.” “Here’s what you made possible for others.”

The difference is specificity and intention. Cheap praise ends the conversation. Meaningful affirmation opens it. One keeps everyone comfortable. The other helps someone improve. One is vague. The other is anchored in evidence, values, and impact.

This matters in schools and organizations because growth depends on clarity. People don’t improve because they are told they are great. They improve because someone they trust names what they did well, why it mattered, and what comes next. They improve when affirmation is paired with standards, support, and honest feedback.

Maybe we need less cheap praise and more affirmation with weight. Less performance, more precision. Less “great job,” more “here’s what you did, and here’s why it matters.”

Because when praise actually costs something, it finally becomes worth something, too.

Lead Forward is an exclusive feature by Dr. Andy Szeto on The Worthy Educator. Check back regularly for new insights for aspiring leaders!