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Teach Them Well!



We are taught from early on to show others how we want to be treated. It’s learned in our families of origin, our earliest friendships, in the schoolyard and on the playing field:

 

⚾ Show up.

 

🏒  Stick up for yourself.

 

🏀  Give as good as you get.

 

🏈  Don’t get pushed around.


Yet as we get older, life become more complex and the situations we face are harder to navigate. There are power dynamics, higher stakes and risk factors we have to calculate in our relationships, our careers and our public lives. When others wield power in ways that have implications for us, we have to respond:


👉  Acquiesce.

 

👉  Push back.

 

👉  Compromise.

 

👉  Look the other way.

 

👉  Complain to third parties.

 

👉  Remove ourselves completely.

 

Long story short, by the time we’re put in the position of responding to someone else’s actions, we’re playing catch-up, and once people see how we respond it becomes their baseline for how they deal with us. They meet whatever bar we set for ourselves...and for them.

 

So instead of reacting, we can teach people how to treat us from the time we first meet them.

 

Teach them?

 

Yes, we know how to teach.

 

In this case, give them lessons in who we are.

 

How do we plan those lessons?

 


Know who you are and show who you are in how you present yourself through your words and your actions:

 

Speak your values and priorities with clarity Establish the boundaries in which you expect yourself and others to operate  Treat yourself with respect and extend that respect to others Stay focused on your own strengths, interests and needs Build trust and confidence with likeminded people Assert yourself as an ally for the common good Find ways to collaborate to achieve your goals Embrace conflict as problem-solving in action Be a role model for others to emulate so they show up as their authentic selves


By establishing yourself as a known entity, you show others how to treat you.


Don’t give away your power by appeasing others who are asserting theirs.

 

There's room for all of us to be our authentic selves. Teach them well!




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