There's Never Been a Better Time to Start

I never accepted my surroundings. From my earliest memories, I sought love and light and warmth and energy. Much to my mother's chagrin, I was not contained by my environment. I welcomed the sunrise, up at 4-something o’clock making a mess on the counter getting my own milk and cereal and watching Sunrise Semester while the house slept. Before the dew evaporated off the green grass, I was outside exploring the woods, riding my bike, and waiting for my friends to make it outside. The world stimulated my senses and my imagination. Each new day was full of possibilities.

So it was a disappointment I cannot adequately put into words that, as everyone else woke up, that same world lost its luster as I watched people cope with returning to consciousness, being dragged back to reality, clouding the skies with their sullen resignation to life. At first I resisted but I gradually came to terms with it. I just couldn't let it throw shade on me.

I share this now because I I've only recently come to fully understand it as a recurring theme in my life. My spirit always aspires to rise above the circumstances in which it finds itself. Over and over again whenever the world seems overtaken and underwhelmed with its problems, I can’t share in its misery. Not that I don’t empathize and understand; I simply can't breathe under that soul-crushing weight.

None of this was a result of being coddled for or entitled. I come from meager beginnings where second-hand this and bargain-bin that put shoes on my feet and clothes on my back. That, coupled with my hard-nosed New England upbringing, rendered me a no-nonsense get-the-job-done pragmatist, and I am grateful for all of it. Still, my natural inclination is to find fulfillment in influencing my surroundings, making a difference, and coming out the other end shinier and even more resilient.

Each time my family moved (every five years or so), I made new friends and found new ways to thrive. Attending college in a part of the country that was stagnant in industrial decay, I studied hard and worked multiple jobs to earn that degree. As a teacher I constantly learned and evolved making a difference for my students and their families, and I followed that path as it led me to new ways forward and to people and places I never would have known otherwise. The entire journey fed my craving to resist the way things are.

I have watched and experienced the best and the worst this world can offer, and the difference in every outcome is me acting as a force for love and good and difference-making. My perspective and my response to everything I encounter determines how things play out.

I expect to influence my surroundings, and I refuse to concede an inch of my dignity, integrity and heart to anyone else's selfishness, ugliness and hate. Having said that, I've never been over-the-top or in-your-face; I don't respond to bad behavior or aggression. Sure there are times it's important to stand firm and tell it like it is - and I am good with that - but I've learned to commit my energy to positive action, serving as a voice for possibilities, connecting good people and removing obstacles to progress. It's not always easy, and when things become dark and frustrating I look inward and remind myself who I am and what feeds my soul.

The popular "wisdom" is that the way to happiness is expecting nothing so that you're never disappointed. It's defeatist ideology that rings hollow to me. In my experience, people who expect nothing often remain stuck where they stand. Don't be afraid of disappointment. It's a great teacher. Be afraid of not trying. The way to growth and fulfillment is exerting your presence so it is felt. You are a power in this world simply by being you.

I wish this for you reading this. Never concede who you are. Refuse to give in to surroundings and circumstances. Regardless of the condition of the world handed to you, do not resign yourself to it. You are a power to be reckoned with, and while you can’t presume to overcome every challenge, you can impact every outcome and improve the trajectory of the future.

Me? I still wake up early every day and greet the sunrise, and I still get excited by the possibilities of each new day. While I’m appalled by the current state of the world, I refuse to accept things as they are, and I continue to make a difference every day in how I respond to whomever and whatever I encounter. I refuse to settle.  

The litmus test? I look back now and I am happy where I am and how I got here. I can see where I’ve made a difference and I’m at peace that I’m leaving things better than I found them. I wish the same for you. Expect a brighter, better, warmer world and live in a way that everyone knows that this is what you’re about. There’s never been a better time to start.

Miss Rumphius by Barbara Cooney, Puffin Books, 1982