Tom & Barbara: Best Friends Forever!

February is Heart Month at The Worthy Educator, honoring those special colleagues who make a difference in our lives and careers, celebrating how longterm, loyal, caring, nurturing, professional friendships enhance our experience as professionals!

Tom Hoerr pays tribute to Barbara Thomson:

Barbara Thomson, a colleague of mine, was a mentor in many ways. Perhaps it was due to her background in early childhood education, where she accepted each child at their level of development and challenged them accordingly, I wasn’t sure. But I was sure that Barbara always knew how to wait, when to ask, and where to lead. On more occasions than should have been the case, I would come to meet with her, brimming with excellent ideas, creative strategies, and profound solutions. In my mind, anyway. I would tell and clarify and tell some more and clarify again. Barbara would listen without interrupting and take a few notes. Finally, when she moment was right, she would say something like, “What might other people think of this idea?” or “What could be a downside?” Invariably that led to a rich and productive discussion. Barbara was known for her care and her intellect (what a great combination!) so I was at least wise enough to pause and think about her question.

Her technique was effective in protecting me against my sporadic intellectual catapults and she also often used it in our team’s administrative meetings. Her listening and prodding helped all of us. My respect for Barbara increased even more, however, when she wound up substitute teaching in a classroom of four-year old students. I was there as the children streamed in from recess and I noticed her calmly waiting as an energetic and rambunctious student went on and on about an infraction at recess and how unjust the world was to him. She calmly listened and then said, “What would he say about the incident? And then “What could you do differently?” There it was, I thought, another example of how the lessons we teach in preschool are valid throughout our lives.

Leadership is about relationships. Regardless of the role we hold, it is clear that we listen to and follow people because we trust them. We know that they respect us and care for us. I was fortunate to work with many people who went the extra mile and who followed my leaps into the unknown. And the best followers were those who often pushed back even as they leapt with me. In particular, I trusted Barbara deeply. Part of the reason why I had such faith in her is that she would tell me when she disagreed with me. Titles and hierarchy didn’t get in the way of her integrity. Her candid, “But Tom, have you thought of…” or “Are you sure??” questions caused me to stop and reflect and, often, led to a continued dialogue and a better solution. Or she would say, “OK, I will do this, but I don’t think it’s a good idea and I want you to know my thinking…” An important part of her having my back was her telling me things that I needed to hear, even if it wasn’t pleasant for me, and she did it well. Our relationship helped me be a better leader. Thank you, Barbara!

Tom Hoerr

A Worthy Educator

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See our entire celebration of #edufriends and share your tribute to a special colleague or group of peers here so that we can honor you and them!