Making Memories, Keeping Memories

Uncle Don, Aunt Kathy, Mom and Dad circa 1962

Welcome December, the season of memorykeeping and memorymaking! We spend so much of the year hustling and keeping ahead of whatever’s next, but there’s a finality to this month that gives us permission to slow down, look around, and remember.

I love getting lost in recollections of the past, from summer vacations to first snowfalls, visits with friends, colleagues, neighbors and loved ones, traveling to be with family knowing we have only so many springs, summers, autumns and winters together, and celebrating the end of one year and the beginning of the next. Memories keep me warm and fill me up, no matter what is happening around me.

 The Goldens and McKenzies at the beach circa 1975

Specific memories? Boyhood summers at Wingaersheek, Hampton and Old Orchard beaches. A 1966 Christmas eve snowfall a couple of feet deep in Northborough (I was six and it was magical!). Approaching our Christmas tree in the evening with nothing on but its lights making everything glow, feeling the warmth of the large colorful bulbs, reaching out to touch them – hot! My paternal grandparents coming Christmas day from Somerville to celebrate with us, and going to my maternal grandmother's home on Woodward Street in south Boston to celebrate with her side of the family. Extended family get togethers with all my cousins for holiday feasts, with people seated at everything from the kitchen and dining room tables to the ping-pong and pool tables…all draped with table cloths to transform them for the occasion. The kiosk on the campus of Mary Washington College where I proposed one chilly December eve after dinner at Old Town Steak and Seafood in Fredericksburg, and another Christmas with our four month old firstborn at our Spotsylvania townhouse. There was a magical December taking my kids to Woodsom Farm in Amesbury during a daylong snowfall, trudging up a very prominent hill to sled on down again and again, and (of course) flashbacks to so many moments working with my wonderful students over the course of fourteen years. I find myself smiling, basking in each of these seasons of my life. So many warm and wonderful memories!

Kindergarten students, now all in their 40s raising their own families

I've met so many incredible people over the years. While not everyone is still with us, remembering keeps them alive in my heart. Some stayed longer than others, some made a big difference at critical junctures, and all influenced me simply by their presence. There is Mike McMahon and Bruce Hagen from boyhood, with whom I still keep in touch. Peter Dunghe, a major influence as I transitioned from high school to college. Lil Holt and Donna Berlin, role models for me at Ohio State. Marci Rollins Catlett and Rick DeRose, bright spots for me my first year of teaching. Ken Furney, who joined me from Ohio State to teach in King George. Sheryl Asen and Ena Bentley Wood, who remain wonderful friends ever since my first stint in Arlington. Theresa Lewallen and David Griffith, who earned my respect and my friendship working together at ASCD. Charles Gobron, who just passed this summer, a huge presence in my life from the first time we met. And then there are my family members: Grandpa McKenzie, my role model as a man and a father, Nana Golden, an endless font of love and affection, cousins Donnie and Karen who continue to be loyal friends since childhood, and my brothers Kevin and Dan, my closest confidantes. We lost Kevin in 2006; Danny and I are all the family we have left.

I share all this out of the love and joy in remembering, and it's my sincere wish that it opens floodgates of memories for you, too, honoring those people, places and moments that stay with you over the years, even if they are unable to be with you now. Life is short, it happens fast and moments fade, but our memories stay with us.

 Me and my baby brother Dan circa 2018; now 54, he is living his best life

As I head offline for the next week, I go without my technology and creature comforts, but I take my memories with me. Granted, they're not all holiday memories, but they all resonate with who I am and where I come from. I urge you to make time for remembrance this month, too; both favorite recollections and the ones that pop up seemingly out of nowhere from the deepest recesses of your heart. Embrace them. Immerse yourself in them. Claim them as defining moments in your life, because they make you who you are today.

December is also prime time for making new memories, celebrating who we are in the glow of the holidays in which we take part the next few weeks: purposefully, intentionally leading from the heart. Because when we resume the chaos of everyday life in January, it's even harder if we've lost sight of who we are and what's important. So happy Remembrance Month, Worthy Educators. Make the most of it! I will, too.

Walter McKenzie is a lifetime learner, champion, mentor and friend to all who know him, and a co-founder of The Worthy Educator. Lately he's been seen cheering his Buckeyes and Patriots, touring national parks across the western U.S. and Canada, launching the publishing arm of his nonprofit, and catching up with the people he cares about most, often with a smile and the faraway look in his eyes of a happy man savoring a life well lived. Learn more here.

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