Seasons of Love: A Valentine's Day Guide to Leading with Heart
- Walter McKenzie
- 2 days ago
- 7 min read
Three Perspectives,
One Powerful Truth:
Love Transforms Education!
This Valentine's Day, forget the heart-shaped chocolates and predictable roses. We're talking about a different kind of love, the radical, transformative, world-changing kind that lives at the intersection of education and social-emotional learning.
Welcome to School Seasons xSELeratED, where three distinct voices come together to remind us that love isn't just a feeling, it is a practice, a framework, and a revolutionary act of leadership.
We’d love to be your guides for this journey:
💗 Leigh Reagan Alley — The Wholeness-Centered Leader
💗 Heather Lageman — The Community-Builder
💗 Walter McKenzie — The Systems Thinker
Together, we've created a year-long companion that weaves social-emotional learning through every season of school life. And this Valentine's Day? They're showing us the Seasons of Love.
💝 Perspective 1: Wholeness-Centered Leader
Leigh Reagan Alley on Love as Presence
Core Theme: Presence • Empathy • Vulnerability • Emotional Intelligence
For Leigh, love begins with seeing, truly seeing, the whole person. Not the role they play, not the title they hold, but the human being beneath it all.
Valentine's Activity: The "What I See in You" Web
What You'll Need:
A ball of yarn or ribbon
A circle of colleagues (5-15 people)
20 minutes
Courage to be vulnerable
How It Works:
Gather in a circle. Leave your professional armor at the door. This is a space for authentic human connection.
Start the web. One person holds the yarn and offers an affirmation to someone else using the frame: "What I see in you is..." Be specific. Be honest. Be tender.
Pass the love. While holding onto your strand, toss the ball to the person you just affirmed. They hold their piece and continue the pattern.
Watch the magic. As the web forms, you'll literally see your interconnection taking shape…a visual metaphor for how love weaves communities together.
Pause and feel. When everyone has spoken or been spoken to, sit with the web. Notice how you're all connected. Gently tug your strand and watch the whole structure respond.
Why This Matters:
Love is a relational act. It's not passive appreciation. It is an active witnessing. When we name what we see in each other, we practice the emotional intelligence that transforms schools from buildings into communities.
As Leigh writes in the February chapter: "Love in education isn't just kindness—it's courage, presence, advocacy, and action. It's about seeing each other fully and choosing connection again and again, even when the work is hard."
Valentine's Reflection Questions:
How did it feel to be seen?
What shifted in you when you were named in love?
How might this practice change how you enter your classroom or staff meeting tomorrow?
💝 Perspective 2: Community-Builder
Heather Lageman on Love as Belonging
Core Theme: Belonging • Relationships • Shared Humanity • Collective Thriving
For Heather, love is the foundation of belonging. It's the recognition that we are not alone in this work—and that our shared humanity is our greatest strength.
Valentine's Activity: The "We Love Us" Celebration
What You'll Need:
A dedicated wall space or digital board
Colorful sticky notes or cards
Markers
A commitment to public appreciation
30 minutes (plus ongoing additions)
How It Works:
Create the space. Title your wall or board: "We Love Us: A Celebration of Our Collective Heart"
Set the prompts. Post these sentence starters:
- "Dear [School Name], I love the way you..."
- ""To our students: You are ______."
- ""What I love about this team is..."
- ""This community taught me that..."
Make it visible. Invite everyone—staff, students, families—to post notes daily. Make it a ritual to read a few aloud each morning or during meetings.
Build on it. As notes accumulate, celebrate themes. Notice patterns. Watch your culture shift from scarcity to abundance.
Close with ceremony. At month's end (or whenever feels right), host a "We Love Us" celebration with music, treats, and collective appreciation.
Why This Matters:
The fundamental truth is that mattering is essential. In these words from the November chapter: "Mattering looks like pausing in the hallway to truly see a colleague who seems overwhelmed, rather than rushing past with a quick 'How are you?' It feels like the exhale that comes when someone remembers your name, asks about your weekend, or notices when you're struggling."
Love isn't abstract—it's these small, repeated acts of recognition that build the relational trust sustaining us through hard seasons.
Valentine's Reflection Questions:
What makes someone feel loved in our community?
How do we make "mattering" a daily practice, not a February thing?
What would change if every person here knew they belonged?
💝 Perspective 3: The Systems Thinker
Walter McKenzie on Love as Justice
Core Theme: Equity • Intentionality • Organizational Healing • Sustainable Change
For Walter, love is structural. It's not enough to feel warmly about equity, we must build it into our systems. Love means designing policies, practices, and structures that honor every heart and every voice.
Valentine's Activity: Love in Leadership Compass
What You'll Need:
A leadership team willing to be honest
60-90 minutes for deep reflection
Chart paper or digital doc for notes
Courage to name what isn't working
Commitment to do better
How It Works:
Frame the work. Remind the team: This isn't about blame. It's about alignment. We're asking: Do our systems practice what we preach about love, care, and dignity?
Pose reflective questions (from Walter's June chapter):
- "What would it mean to design policies that express love, not just enforce rules?
- "Who did our recent decisions uplift? Who did they exclude?
- "What assumptions are we making—are they grounded in care or control?
- "How do we write love into schedules, feedback systems, and discipline practices?
- "When we say "all are welcome," how do we show that in action?
Co-create a "Love Statement." Together, draft a leadership declaration. For example: "We commit to leading with care and courage. We choose policies that honor dignity. We build systems that serve the whole person—students and staff alike."
Make it real. Identify one existing policy to revise through this lens. Could be attendance, dress code, grading, staff feedback—anything. Redesign it with love at the center.
Revisit monthly. Don't let this be a one-time exercise. Post your Love Statement. Reference it in meetings. Hold each other accountable.
Why This Matters:
Walter's wisdom is that injustice often lives in quiet decisions, not loud acts. As he writes in the March chapter: "Shared power, equity and inclusion are crucial concepts working together to create a learning environment where every student can succeed, regardless of their background or circumstances."
Love at the systems level means asking: Who benefits from how we do things? And who doesn't? Then having the courage to change what's unjust.
Valentine's Reflection Questions:
What barriers exist to embedding love in our systems?
How can love be the foundation of our equity work, not just a nice sentiment?
What does accountability with love, not shame, look like here?
💕 Bringing It All Together: The Season of Love
Here's what makes School Seasons xSELeratED different: it doesn't ask you to choose between head and heart, between rigor and relationship, between efficiency and empathy.
It asks you to integrate them.
Leigh reminds us that love begins within, with our own wholeness, presence, and emotional honesty.
Heather shows us that love grows between…in relationships, belonging, and shared humanity.
Walter demonstrates that love must be built into systems through equity, intentionality, and sustainable structures.
Together, they form the xSELeratED Schools framework, which centers five interconnected competencies:
Understanding Myself (emotional awareness, self-knowledge)
Nurturing Myself (self-care, boundaries, regulation)
Understanding Others (empathy, perspective-taking, cultural humility)
Nurturing Others (relationship-building, care, support)
Building a Better World (justice, collaboration, systemic change)
Love is the thread that weaves through all five.
💌 Your Valentine's Challenge
This Valentine's Day, don't just send cards. Practice love. Choose one activity from each perspective:
💞Lead with presence (Leigh): Host an affirmation web with your team💞Build belonging (Heather): Start a "We Love Us" wall that lasts beyond February💞Design for justice (Walter): Audit one policy through a lens of love and equity
And don't let this be a February thing. Let it be a forever thing. Because when education is grounded in love…real, structural, transformative love…everything changes. Students thrive. Teachers stay. Communities heal. Justice becomes possible. That's the power of the Seasons of Love.
📖 Want to Go Deeper?
School Seasons xSELeratED is your year-long companion for this work. It is a month-by-month guide that meets you where you are and walks with you through:
August: Begin with Belonging
September: Teaching from the Inside Out
October: Trust Takes Practice
November: Holding Gratitude & Grief
December: Boundaries Are Love in Practice
January: Begin Again, Softly
February: Love is a Collective Practice (where this all began!)
March: Every Heart, Every Voice
April: Cultivating Curiosity
May: Celebrate the We
June: Letting Go with Love
July: Rest is Revolutionary
Each chapter offers practical activities, reflection prompts, and community-building practices rooted in research but written for real humans doing real work in real schools.
It's gritty. It's honest. It's deeply hopeful. And it starts with this simple truth: the power of the Seasons of Love....AND it's on sale this Thursday through Monday for Valentine;s Day! Only $9.99 (regularly $24.99)! That's 60% off! Get your cope here!
💗 A Final Word from the Authors
From Leigh, Heather, and Walter:
Social-Emotional Learning isn't something we implement; it's how we show up. It's the daily choice to lead with heart, to build with intention, to transform with courage. This Valentine's Day, we invite you into that practice—not as something extra, but as the very essence of why we're here. Because education is not a transaction. It's a relationship. It's a covenant. It's love. And love, in all its beautiful, messy, powerful forms, isn't just nice to have. It's how we survive. It's how we thrive. It's how we heal. That's the most revolutionary act of all.
💕Happy Valentine's Day, Educators! 💕
Now go forth and love boldly…with presence, belonging, and justice woven into everything you do.
Because honoring every Season of Love is how we change the world.
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