Finding My Way Without a Map

Walter McKenzie
3 days ago
3 min read

Benita C. Gordon

This is the third in a series on Lessons Learned by Benita C. Gordon

By the time I reached this part of the journey, I had stopped asking for a map.

Not because I didn’t want direction—but because I finally understood that this season wasn’t about being led step by step. It was about learning how to move without certainty, trusting discernment over clarity, and walking forward while still becoming.

Lessons 5 and 6 didn’t arrive loudly. They arrived quietly. Through patterns. Through pauses. Through moments where nothing made sense—until it did.

Lesson 5: Movement Matters More Than Certainty

I used to believe I needed clarity before I could move.

A plan. A timeline. A guarantee that I wouldn’t have to double back.

But this season dismantled that belief.

What I learned instead is this:

Stillness can be holy—

but prolonged hesitation can become fear in disguise.

I didn’t always know where I was going, but I knew what I wasn’t returning to. So I started moving anyway.

Small steps. Intentional steps. Steps rooted in values, not visibility.

A conversation. A consult. A project. A pause that allowed me to breathe again.

Movement didn’t bring immediate answers—but it created momentum. And momentum brought information. Information brought discernment.

Discernment brought peace.

Not all at once. But enough.

Lesson 6: Peace Became My Compass

At some point, I stopped chasing excitement, approval, or urgency.

I started paying attention to peace.

Not the absence of fear—but the presence of alignment.

I began asking different questions:

Does this drain me or restore me?
Do I feel pressured—or grounded?
Am I shrinking—or expanding?

Peace didn’t mean everything was easy.

It meant I wasn’t fighting myself anymore.

And when I made peace with the compass, something shifted.

I stopped forcing outcomes. I stopped auditioning for spaces I had outgrown. I stopped explaining decisions that were rooted in discernment, not performance.

Peace became the confirmation I had been asking for all along.

What These Lessons Changed

Lessons 5 and 6 didn’t give me a blueprint.

They permitted me.

Permission to move without a map. Permission to trust what I’ve learned.

Permission to build in real time. Permission to model becoming instead of pretending to have arrived.

This is where the journey turns.

Not toward certainty—but toward integration.

What Comes Next

This brings me to the next series: Finding My Way Without a Map.

A season of hybrid thinking. Hybrid leadership. Hybrid faith.

Walking through rain without running from it. Learning while leading. Figuring it out while figuring me out.

If you’re in a place where the old directions don’t apply and the new ones haven’t fully formed, this next series is for you.

You’re not behind. You’re not lost. You’re learning a different way to move. And sometimes, that’s exactly what growth looks like.

End of Lessons Learned. The journey continues.

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This brilliant perspective was originally published by Benita on December 27, 2025 and is crossposted with permission.

Benita C. Gordon has been an educator for more than 25 years, doing the work from the ground up: leading classrooms, launching schools, designing curriculum, and now disrupting the status quo through microschool innovation. The founder of Global Education Concierge, she helps educators, parents, & community leaders build learner-centered environments, from hybrid homeschools to micro-hubs to culturally-rooted global learning models. Contact her via email here.