Lifetime Backward Design

Emma the Disney dog and my faithful companion for 11 years now

Fifteen months since I stopped working for someone else and I’ve learned some things and confirmed some things.

First of all, it’s everything you’ve heard. I love getting up every morning on my schedule, facing a day open to possibilities. No meetings I don’t want to attend. No people I don’t want to deal with. No money worries or someone else’s bottom line to watch. It is worth the wait to arrive here!

 Just before reaching Mt. Rainier this year

Not being driven by someone else’s agenda is (well, duh) liberating. I love who I am and I love the people in my life. I’ve come to terms with the tenuousness and finality of it all, and I treasure every precious moment, whether I’m sitting still in silence or actively working to get things done.

Forty years-plus of working, and I loved the work. From paperboy, bus boy, waiter and cook to teacher, director, assistant superintendent and nonprofit leader, it gave me purpose and I gave it my all. I learned much, many times the hard way, but that’s the only way I know. I was a maverick from day one, questioning the what and why and who and how, and I can look back and see that as a theme and through line of my life. I've always been true to who I am, even when I felt like I got in my own way.

 A favorite photo of Jeannine, Alice, me and Connie back in the day

I’ve also been true to others, and that’s key. The reason I get up every morning loving life, and go to bed every evening loving myself, is that I have few regrets in how I’ve handled situations and people. At times that meant giving above and beyond to people who needed my caring and my support, and other times it meant not giving a reaction to those who were trying way too hard to get one. Always from my gut, I’ve never been one to label and handle things hard and fast. Just when I thought I had things figured out, I'd change things up and adapt as needed. As a trauma survivor, I craved predictability and consistency, so I surprised myself in how well I functioned in crisis and ambiguity. Bottom line? My intuition rarely did me wrong, so I did well by others and made sure I was good with myself, too.

Call it a working man’s backward design, living life in a way that I am able to get where I always wanted and needed to be, keeping my eye on the long game. Looking back even years later, I'm good with how I got here.

It’s not hard. It's just knowing what’s important - having perspective - that helps you realize how much of what comes at you doesn’t matter. So why give it energy? Keep moving. Keep your eye on what’s important: your peace of mind, your health and well-being, how you treat people and how you allow them to treat you, leaving things better than you found them, leaving a legacy that people instantly think of when they hear your name, and most importantly, loving deeply and fully and without holding back...loving yourself, loving others, and loving your life. Is there anything else I'm missing that should be on this list?

Lorraine, Marcelle, Bryn, Tianna, Ashley, Cheryl, me, Heidi, Craig and George pre-pandemic

Nope. That’s it. And that’s how I’m able to sit here and write this. There’s nothing new or profound here. You already know that money, power, pleasure and notoriety are fleeting and add up to an empty existence without good, faithful, loving, longterm relationships. You already understand that the biggest success in life is to be good with yourself: who you are, where you've been, what you’ve done, and where you’ve landed. We've all heard these things, but don't make the mistake of relegating them to platitude status just because they're common knowledge. They are the point. They are the only thing of value. Since you can't take any of it with you, all that matters is how you live with yourself. It's a blessing to reach this place where guilt and regrets and fear and drama have no quarter, and the best part? It’s all inside of us. No one can give it or take it away. We just have to be open to the gift we are...to ourselves.

I wish this for you! It starts here, right now, as you read this. Proceed from this point in such a manner that you do not add to any lists of envy, anger or resentment you've been harboring in your head. Let your heart lead! Do good work with no strings attached. Treat others well regardless of their actions or motivations. Give energy to those things that bring you peace and happiness, and walk away from anything that undermines your full, self-affirming, healthy existence. Pay no mind to all the noise, selfishness and cruelty in the world. You don't own it unless you step up and buy into it. Because, when you stop and think about it, you are the coin of your realm, you are the currency you spend, and there’s only so much of you to go around. Like they say about money, you don’t grow on trees! <smirk>

Lifetime backward design: living your life intentionally with the end in mind. Treating yourself and your life in such a way that when you look back, you’re good with who you are and you still have some currency left to spend on yourself. Not cash, necessarily, but personal wealth; the payoff for remaining true to being authentically you. It's a gift to yourself, as you continue the journey now, and a long way down the road from here.

This past summer

Walter McKenzie is a lifetime learner, champion, mentor and friend to all who know him, and a co-founder of The Worthy Educator. Lately he's been seen touring beaches and national parks, cheering for the Buckeyes and Boston sports teams, and catching up with people he cares about, because even though he's an introvert by nature, it's all about the relationships. Learn more here.

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At that point in life where you are finishing working for someone else and you're looking at what's next? Join Gretchen Oltman online at 7pm et tonight for a Legends 30 Minute Meetup and join us on the journey!